Bridezilla —(bryd.ZIL.uh) n. A bride-to-be (normally a lovely human being) who, while planning the biggest day of her life, may resemble a selfish, histrionic and unrecognizable monster.

It's mid-August in the Southwest. I am a bridesmaid at my very best-friend's wedding. The reception is outside, with little shade, on hot bricks. The fortunate guests dress accordingly. The groomsmen strip off layers and roll up sleeves. As for us four bridesmaids, we are trapped. Our prescribed dresses are chiffon (make that layers of chiffon). The fitted bodices shrink to our bodies the more we sweat, and the chiffon skirt, a good 10 layers deep, hangs from our waists like a lethargic tutu. The Sea Foam Green (a nauseating key-lime color, selected by Mom-zilla) only looks more and more putrid as it clings to our skin. But we are in it together, sweating together—stuck together—held by our loyalty to our lifelong friend.

What was my childhood friend thinking? Had she not grown up in this heat all her life, and does she not know better than to risk heat-stroke befalling her four best friends? Was there more than scorching light at the end of our chiffon-lined tunnel?

Sweet Jesus, yes! After the tantrums, the tears (good & bad) and the catastrophes, the bridesmaid, will walk away from this event relatively scratch-free and with a memento to remember the whole thing: the bridesmaid gift.

Mine was a sterling charm bracelet. I never had one, had always wanted one, and here it was from my best friend. And she had already added a few charms to get me started. I opened the box at the rehearsal dinner and held up this sterling representation of our years of friendship: a flute, a horse and a volleyball dangled from its tiny links. Today, this memento is rich with numerous charms representing all that's important to me.

You'll still love your Bridezilla because she's your best friend. You'll understand that this was quite a mission—planning the perfect day, managing vendors, losing pounds, fighting with parents, future in-laws and second cousins about where to seat loud Aunt Judy and, finally, stressing over NOT turning into that unrecognizable monster.

A few years later, it was my turn to decide what to give my own bridesmaids. I showed my share of shocking behavior, like firing my hairdresser on the day of the wedding. Within minutes, my friend, my lifesaver, was on the phone finding me a new (and better) one. Melissa was in medical school at the time and on her way to becoming a pediatrician. She always wore her hair up when she worked so her bridesmaid gift was a sterling silver barrette, engraved “Doc M” to remind her where she was going.

For the Bridezillas out there who are looking for the perfect gift for your devoted bridesmaids, consider this a list that you can personalize for each friend.

• Jewelry—what girl doesn't love jewelry? But make it something nice, not just something to match the dress and the other bridesmaids. Is anyone really going to notice that some have studs while others have drops? Spend some time and money to find the style that fits each one of them. Some great ideas are pearl earrings, a personalized charm bracelet, a monogrammed cuff bracelet, a necklace with a monogrammed heart charm, or hair accessories.

• Perfume bottle—new or vintage and fill it with her favorite perfume!

• Picture frame—something sterling, vintage or delicately beaded holding a picture of one of your favorite memories together as friends.

• Trinket/jewelry box—one that reflects her personality or her décor. Give it to her with a piece of jewelry already inside.

• Swiss Army pocketknife—these are not just for the groomsmen! There are adorable pocketknives out there for women in flashy colors, like hot pink!

• Compact/lipstick holder—one of my favorites. This throwback to a more glamorous era is something they'll keep with them at all times. Engraved, these gifts become very personal. How about a cute beaded handbag for the compact and lipstick holder?

My darling Bridezilla, you already have a million-and-one things to do! Click here to find someone who can help you cross one thing off your list.