Buying the ring is a rite of passage for men. The process (and the passage!) can be menacing. That endless mantra: "Will she like it? Is the diamond big enough? Will she be able to tell that I got a good deal? Will she be upset that I took the deal? Oh dear God, what if she doesn’t like it?" Stop worrying! Put all your fears aside and remember what this is all about. More importantly, realize that you're about to create a memory neither one of you will forget.

The engagement ring is the ultimate gift. Our engagement ring is our most prized possession because it was the first ring we received from you. It's our favorite memento. Twenty years later, 50 years later, we will look down at that ring and grin. It may not be the most attractive, maybe it's even tacky; maybe the diamond is a little small. But we still grin. Even if it was bought on a tight budget, that ring will look like it holds the biggest diamond in the world to the woman who wears it!

For you, choosing and offering the ring may be nerve-racking. It's not just talk anymore…this is the real deal! Hunting for the right ring is laborious (but also fun!), but only because you don't know everything you should. Once the intellectual, hard part is over, you'll be able to envision the end result of your efforts: she's going to light up! Her day is finally here. You knew what to get her because you listened. You noted what she unknowingly pointed to in the case. You paid attention. For you, the fun part is the anticipation, knowing how excited she's going to be that you're offering her more than the ring, but the best gift of all: her darling memory and YOU!

To make this experience fun for yourself, take out the hard part and get educated! Just think of it as buying a car. You decide what features are important to you, right down to the color; make it a point to purchase from someone you trust, avoid the whole smirking salesman thing; and insist on getting a fair deal.

It's about three crucial things: preparing, researching and executing. You've already made it through the preparing part if you're reading this. The execution part comes later. The research part is why you're here. The tips below are going to help get you through. Just read and remember!

How Am I Supposed to Know
What She'll Like?

It's important to remember that the ring isn't about the diamond. Well, not only about the diamond, anyway. It's about the big picture: the design, the metal and, yes, the diamond. She's been waiting for this piece of jewelry since she was playing dress-up, so it's important to find something that resonates with HER! You might:

• Casually talk about a friend's proposal and the ring he bought; see what she thought about it.
  
• Talk directly to her friends. I guarantee, most of her girlfriends know what she would love.
  
• Pay attention to her day-to-day jewelry or peek into her jewelry box. If she wears only silver, you can pretty much bet that she'll prefer a white gold or platinum setting to a yellow gold setting. If she wears custom, unique or funky jewelry, you might want to think about a non-traditional ring. If she's the rock-climbing, frenzied-artist type, avoid a huge rock that could become a nuisance. If she loves jewelry with a history, consider an antique ring.
  
• Use your instincts! You know her better than anyone!

The Four Cs? You Mean Like a 4-Cylinder?
Ummm, no. Cars have their special jargon, diamonds have theirs. Once you understand the 4Cs, you'll be able to walk into any jewelry store, ask questions, analyze the answers and show off those sexy smarts!

Carat: Simply put, carat says how big it is. It's the unit of measure jewelers use for diamonds. Hear this: Bigger is not always better! Generally, our magic number is one carat (or more). A one-carat diamond will cost 50 times more than a diamond that weighs 1/10th of a carat. For example, a nice 1/10th carat might be priced at $200; while a nice 1-carat diamond might cost thousands.

Color: Unlike other gemstones, diamonds are valued for their LACK of color. You will find colored diamonds out there such as canary, pink, champagne, cognac, chocolate, even black. But for the ring, it's best to stick with the traditional colorless diamond (that is, unless she says she wants a colored one). Jewelers use an alphabetical code to rate color. The scale ranges from D (completely colorless), down the alphabet to Z (vividly colored). Tip: If you will be setting the diamond in yellow gold, no one will be able to tell if the color is better than a G or an H. With platinum or white gold, consider a G or better color for the most brilliant white you can get.

Clarity: Clarity is king. Think of this as purity. Diamonds can be as clear as a mountain spring, or as cloudy as frozen spit! The degree of purity has a huge impact on what you'll end up paying. Memorize this scale:
• Flawless: absolutely perfect, just like her!
• VVS: Very Very Slight flaw in the diamond
• VS: Very Slight flaw in the diamond.

Flawless, VVS and VS diamonds are the Bentleys of the diamond world, with prices sky-rocketing as you reach for the more flawless grades. Tip: Know that no one will be able to tell the difference between a VS2 and a flawless.

• S I: Slightly Included; the diamond has a small flaw inside. These diamonds will be clear to the naked eye, but if you examine them with a 10X loupe, the flaws are relatively easy to see. SI diamonds are popular because they look very good and are reasonably priced.
• I: Imperfect; the diamond has obvious flaws. Once you know they're there, you'll easily find them. Imperfect diamonds are less expensive and offer the chance to buy a larger stone.

Sometimes you'll see a number added to the letters. These offer grades within the scale levels. For example, a VS1 diamond is less "flawed" than a VS2 diamond.

Cut: Cut is shape. And there are all kinds to choose from. Round is classic, but with all the other shapes out there, this is where you can get creative with the overall look of the ring. The quality of the cut is just as important, as this affects the diamond's fiery brilliance. It can also affect how big it looks. A well-cut 1-carat diamond will look like a 1-carat; a poorly-cut 1-carat diamond could look more like a .75-carat. Ideally, no matter which shape you choose, the cut should be symmetrical. Evaluating cut is the hardest part of shopping for a diamond. Just remember, you want a diamond that shows a lot of flash and brilliance. If the stone looks "dead" or has a "glassy fish-eye" effect, move on to a better diamond.

Now that you understand the 4Cs, choosing the right diamond is sort of like tuning a carburetor. Just as you need to adjust the mix of fuel and air in a carburetor, you need to find the right balance of Clarity, Color, Carat and Cut in a diamond.

A good Jeweler is NOT Hard to Find!
A good jeweler will be important to you for years to come, not just when purchasing an engagement ring. It's no different than the relationship you have with your trusted mechanic. So how do you find a reputable jeweler? The same way you find your mechanic, barber and dry cleaner: legwork, research, word-of-mouth. Talk to friends and family about jewelers they recommend. Better yet, just click "Go" under the "find a jeweler near you" at the top, right of this page!

Does She Like Heavy Metal?
The metal type and setting are just as important as the diamond. Your car may have one hell of an engine under the hood, but if the outside is ugly, then you've just got an ugly fast car! You should be able to determine which metal color she likes, just by paying attention to her everyday jewelry. If you decide to go with a white metal, keep one thing in mind: platinum is beautiful, heavy, expensive and we love it! But it also scratches over time. White gold does, too, but it also polishes itself.

Which Comes First? The Diamond or the Setting?
Ideally, you should purchase the diamond and then find a mounting. An unmounted diamond can be examined from every angle and more accurately measured (especially weight). A mounted diamond makes it hard to see possible flaws; settings also tend to collect dirt, making evaluating clarity even harder. It's also impossible to weigh a mounted diamond.

I Thought I Wasn't EVER Supposed to Ask Her What Size She Wears!
This is true…for clothing! But you need to know her ring size when purchasing the ring. If you are shopping for the ring together, then simply have her finger sized at the jeweler. But if you're doing the surprise thing, it's easy to determine her ring size. Sneak through her jewelry box for a ring that she wears on that finger and take it to your jeweler. Even better, simply trace the inside of one of her rings onto a piece of paper and keep it in your wallet.

You're ready. Take a deep breath and get out there! Enjoy the process and anticipate the finale! And don't get so caught up in the anxieties that you forget what it's all about. You'll find yourself proud of the amazing ring you bought her—more than you are of those fancy rims on your car!